


Take My Blues Away

by Schmidt1012



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, First Kiss, Hanahaki Disease, Last Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Purple Lilacs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15376788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schmidt1012/pseuds/Schmidt1012
Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.- WIkiDean just wanted Benny to feel better.





	Take My Blues Away

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the first Hanahaki disease story of this pairing.
> 
> \---
> 
> To avoid spoiling the story, I intended not to put other tags. Please, read at your own risk. :)
> 
> \---
> 
> Mistakes are all mine.

"Don't be stubborn, Benny," Dean begged as he took Benny's hand into his, lacing their fingers together. "Whoever that girl is, just let go, okay? Please, look at yourself. You look like shit.”

Lying on a hospital bed, slowly, Benny shook his head no. No matter what Dean suggested – plead, his best friend just kept refusing it. Looming in his glassy eyes were unspoken words Dean couldn’t understand, but all he knew was Benny was suffering. And he too was in pain just watching his friend fade.

On verge of tears, Dean said for the hundredth time, not wanting to approve the surgery without Benny’s consent. “Just let go, Benny.” Kissing Benny’s hand, he pleaded. “Please, for me. Let. Go.”

With each painful breath, Benny gathered enough strength to speak, only to waste it coughing up lilac petals, something Dean used to love before. Too weak speak, or even to breathe, all Benny could do was to look at him with utter adoration, something Dean didn’t notice before.

“Don’t cry.” Wheezing, Benny drawled, his hand squeezing Dean’s hand back. “It ain’t a pretty picture when you’re being _sappy_.”

“Up yours, man.” For the first time that night, a genuine laugh escaped Dean’s mouth. He hated it when Benny was doing his thing, lightening up the mood. Benny laughed too but it was cut short when he coughed up those damn purple petals again. “Hey, take it easy, Benny.”

Even though they both know that their time together was limited, both of them were now at least smiling, just like the good old days. “Just…” Benny started. Catching his breath, Benny wet his dry lips with his even dryer tongue. “Just stay here.”

After growing up together, Dean knew behind those blue eyes of Benny’s were more words waiting to be spilled. Nothing followed though, only the sharp whistling sound coming from Benny’s abused throat. Benny was just like that. Whenever he had made up his mind not to tell something, his lips were sealed, and no one could make him say it, even Dean – the best friend – himself.

A few minutes of labored breathing later, Dean couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how hard Benny tried to make it look like he’s fine, acting like everything’s going to be a-ok. Dean could see right through him, through his heart-achingly blue eyes. Benny was selfishly making it easy for him.

“She’s not worth it, Ben.” Dean finally said, his throat tightening up with emotions. ”Let go and forget about her.”

“I can’t.” Barely a whisper, Benny replied. “I’m too far gone, chief. Nothing’s going to save me now.”

“The surgery could--” Benny squeezed his hand, hard enough to hurt. “Why?”

Stubbornly, Benny shook his head again, refusing to undergo surgery, tears starting to build on the corner of his eyes. If only Benny would talk, everything would be easier. If only Benny would just let go of that woman. Or if only Benny didn’t fall in love in the first place, then he wouldn’t be in this predicament, dying.

_If only…_

Unsure of why, his tears had decided to fall on their own, again. If only he could do something about this. Holding Benny’s hand with both of his, Dean hid his face behind them as if he was praying. But in reality, he’s hiding how his lips tremble uncontrollably. He’s failing though, because his choked sobs followed quickly, in sync with how his shoulders quake.

_You can’t do this to me._

Through his fogged vision, Dean watched Benny raised his free hand, which was once attached to a strong, sturdy arm, and lifted his head up. With a soft brush of his thick, calloused fingers, Benny wiped his tears away. He was far beyond delicate, but Benny had always treated him like a fragile vase, taking care of him with utmost care – his _chief_. Even now in his soon-to-be deathbed, the selfless asshole was still thinking of him.

“Why?” Dean repeated. That’s all he could say for now – _why?_ He’s tired. But Benny was probably feeling worse. Without saying anything, Benny locked eyes with him, green meeting blue, and gingerly sat up straight. Where Benny got this newfound strength of his, Dean didn’t know.

Without any sort of warning, Benny leaned forward and captured his lips with his. Even though chapped, Benny’s lips glided smoothly against his, a hint of coppery blood mixing with the fragrance of lilacs. Just as he was about to return the kiss, Benny pulled away, his red-rimmed eyes screaming with hurt and dejection. And there, something clicked in Dean’s head.

“How long?” _…have you been enduring this?_

“Does it matter?” Benny countered, defeated.

“Oh, Benny,” Dean breathed out as he watched Benny sank into his pillows. “I’m so--”

“Don’t,” Rolling his head to look at Dean, Benny cut off, “It ain’t your fault. Besides, you’ve shown me different kinds of beautiful, Dean,” Benny said with a smile, residues of blood stained purple petals were sticking in his teeth. And watching him like there’s nothing to worry about hurt Dean, a lot. “I just don’t want to forget - _to let go._ ”

“But you’re dying, Benny. If you really…” … _love me_. Dean chocked up the words. He couldn’t say it, hell, he couldn’t even believe Benny fall for someone like him, someone too broken to function. “Then do it for me.”

“You ain’t getting it, Dean,” Benny burst out in frustration, his breathing became erratic and refusing to shed a tear. "I'd rather die, loving you, than to live with no memory of--" Benny coughed up blood, painting the lilacs red.

“You fucker, why’d you have to say it.” _You can’t leave me like this._ “You know that I… that I…” _That I can’t love you back, anything but that._ Climbing onto Benny’s bed with a towel in his hand, Dean cleaned his friend’s mouth. With his arms wrapped protectively around Benny, Dean held him close to his chest, Benny’s head resting on his shoulders.

“It’s okay, you know.” Benny started weakly, talking had worn him out. Dean had noticed how Benny tried and failed to move his limb, so he reached out to hold Benny’s hand between them, squeezing to reassure his friend that he’s there. “It’s okay that you can’t love me back. It doesn’t hurt much when you’re holding me like this.”

 _No, it’s not okay, Ben._ Kissing Benny’s temple, Dean thought as he hugged Benny tighter. _It doesn’t hurt much when you’re holding me like this_. Hugging Benny was the least he could do to ease the pain. If only he could return Benny’s feelings then everything would be okay. But it’s not that easy, none of these were easy. Benny’s his friend, his blood brother, and nothing more than that.

As the sweet scent of lilacs coming from Benny calmed him down, his tired body had surrendered into a shallow sleep with Benny’s soothing voice kept repeating in his head - _It’s okay._

Half an hour later, Dean woke up inside an awfully quiet room, the low hum of machines were being drowned by his own breathing. Wrapped in his arms, Benny laid still with his face buried in the crook of his neck, his hand lax between Dean’s fingers.

“Benny,” Dean began, rubbing the back of Benny’s hand with his thumb. “You awake?”

No response.

 _It’s okay, brother._ Benny’s voice echoed in his head. _It’s okay._


End file.
